A couple verses . . .

 This is a poem I wrote while I was in Liepaja, Latvia as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Then I felt like every day was a test of my ability to understand and communicate with people who did not want to understand or talk to me.  :)  It's still important to follow you instincts though.  It did pay off in the end!

A smile means a lot
Maybe it’s happy, maybe it’s not
For emotion can be shown differently
A grin of discomfort, a grin of relief

Or that stare of cold eyes
That frown of a Titan
Is it laced with anger, purged to smite one,
Or is it concern in disguise?

This world would have you think
That what you believe is all up to you,
When how you feel and who you are is granted
When, really, you choose those things for yourself too

You see yourself in every sunrise, hear yourself in each song,
It reflects back something new, with what you knew all along
And if you let it, it can make your soft heart a little nobler and true,
Or, you can push it away with a hard one, and feel offended and bruised

How sad to think that the cold eyes, full of an anger you feel
May be hiding the love you need to heal
Unless you give up your disguise, and shed your self-hatred
That love will never break through, but remain secret to you

And how odd to think that the smiles which you love may hide pain and grief
Which you also know, and so often cover with a laugh
If you are too self-occupied to look, to wait until the mask falls,
You may remain ignorant of the one in need

There is one way to judge, the veil of doubt to shatter
We must listen close, and lift our hears above the chatter
For when we hear that still small voice, and follow with bravery
There is no result that could be more savory

If you follow those promptings, there's little more that matters

Roller Coaster

Some experiences leave you a different person.  I like them when they are short and thrilling, like a roller coaster.  Often we ask, as we are banged around by the roller coasters of life, when the roughness will end.
    Some time ago, I thought I was simply attending master class.  Our professor had gathered us in Reed Lab of the music building.  Our studio has more musicians than ever this semester, and we were cramped inside that tiny room.  To compensate for the lack of space, we left our backpacks and instruments in the hall.
    I’m just going to preface the next development with a question:  Do you sometimes hear that little voice in your head that tells you not to do something stupid? At that moment, the voice said: take your backpack inside.  Your laptop, checkbook, heavily marked copy of The Book of Mormon, and two journals are not worth risking.
    Sadly, it took experience for me to learn that, indeed, the risk was not worth it.
    An hour later, as I sat in the security office, I was told that students often fall into a false sense of security at BYU-Idaho.  Drifters easily sneak into our buildings to find belongings left unguarded, like my backpack.  Those thieves can be opportunists, preying on students, or (sad to say) students with deplorably sub-par standards.

    I did my best not to complain, but it seemed this rough patch would last forever.  Although, I know that roller-coasters are not made of downs only, or else nobody would get on in the first place.  Life is an inevitable combination of ups and downs.

A week later, something was delivered to the music office.

    After all the wishing that I had not ignored that little voice, pining for my laptop, and grudgingly replacing my supplies, sudden elation threatened to burst all the anger.  But I refused to get my hopes up until I saw it.  How little faith I had. 

   I’m happy to say this article was typed on the very laptop that went AWOL to who-knows-where for a whole week, and was returned with everything else.  Little did I know how soon the upward climb would come. 

    But let me be honest: if I had never seen my backpack again, things would have been fine.  Many who will read this article have lost more than things--the kind of curve that affects the entire remainder of your life.  Opportunities, close friends, and family are things that, once they are really gone, can never be replaced.  Getting on the ride of life, you know that twists and turns are going to happen.  Maybe what I was supposed to learn from my little experience is to remember to be glad I am on this ride, no matter how rough it gets.  

   No matter how rough it gets.

   My hope in life is that, when I go, I will go with everyone I got on with, grateful for every curve and fall. 

Statement

This blog exists because I want to be read.  I have this insatiable urge to write, and for anybody who wants to hear my thoughts, this is your chance to read.
For now I have short essays about ideas and experiences I've had.  Hopefully I'll be able to post some fiction soon.  
If you have any suggestions on places that would accept work like mine here, then let me know.
Or, if you like what I write, then be a pal and tell me why.  And if you think it could be better, give me a well-thought out explanation why.  I'm always looking for new angles from which to scrutinize my writing.


Enjoy!